DUDE. How did you KNOW? It was as if this was chosen for me, personally…I mean, how many times does one need to make reference to their made-for-tv-movie kinda life regarding the chaos of my reality?!?!?!?
Oh yes…there is a made-for-tv-movie of my life…which, by extension, includes the blog and my activism as I attempt to negotiate my move into SpoonieVille and illustrate my ability to gracefully live at the rate of several “wtf”‘s per hour.
Oh yes…the first made-for-tv-movie that contains a mo-fo hashtag in its title. Cuz I’m badass like that. ‘Course, I couldn’t call it “Badass”…as awesome as that’d be…I’d like it to be on at, say, 9 p.m….not 11 p.m….although…with as much insomnia as is the norm for many of my chronic illness pals endure…I s’ppose it wouldn’t be such a crucial issue…
Seriously…I’ve often wondered who I would get to play “me”. Personally? I’d love to have Angelina Jolie…she’s got the badass factor (duh), she’s got eleventy-billion children herself (what’s she up to now? 6?7? So, I’ve got 5…same diff…). She tells it like it is. She doesn’t sugar coat her truths. Yet? Yet, she can cry like the wind and feel the pain of strained relationships.
What’s the story? Shit. What ISN’T the story? How about how she manages single parenthood of enough children to make a starting line on a hockey team (5 children, for 2 years). Add in behavioural difficulties of a couple of them. Add in some cognitive issues for a couple of others. Add in some toilet trauma where one of her twins develops The Fear and shits in your floor vent. Add in some medical diagnoses that change not only her life, but the lives of both her immediate family, extended family and…hell…through in the lives of many of her good friends. THEN…if they’re brave enough (cuz even Oprah wouldn’t believe half the shit she goes through)…add in a “timeline” wherein she’s got to pull together enough information to educate not only family and friends, but others all over the world who might need that little tidbit in order to prevent the hell that is the “feeling like I’m all alone”, all while working, managing a home and all household fiscal challenges and responsibilities facing a single mother of five.
*takes a breath*
THEN you’d need to add in the angle of the sarcasm, wit and humour to help manage to deflect the gut-wrenching, cry-like-your-soul-is-breaking moments…a hodpodge of the melancholy mixed with the need to kick some ass.
THEN you’d need to add in the awesomeness of the everything else that makes her, me, awesomely badass…add in the scrapbooking…the mixed media…the ability to help people focus on what matters, not always what’s important. Add in the research guru who, one day, will sport a Google tattoo. True story.
There would be a flux of characters…some you’d see regularly, some you’d see pop into screen on only an occasion or two (sometime three if I really liked them).
I was thinking of the location…you can’t possibly follow the different locales that I’ve been placed into…so, how about this?
She’s sitting in a university auditorium. The front. She’s elderly. She’s cynical and sarcastic and generally funny as hell. Why? Because she’s recounting the stories that lead her to sit on her 84 year old ass telling a new gaggle of medical students that they couldn’t begin to believe the shit she’s gone through and that…just maybe…they can keep it all in mind the first time THEY tell someone to “get their shit in order.” ;o)
This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://info.wegohealth.com/NHBPM