“De-tact-ables”…

NHBPM Day 13: “Write about something taboo.

Dude.

What DON’T I blog and/or talk about?

When your life story will include a chapter on how you survived “The Great Toilet Overflow of 2011” that lead to twin #2 crapping down the floor vent…well…there’s really not much left.

Then I thought about addictions.  No one likes to talk about those.

Now that I’ve surpassed a year and a half smoke-free, the only other addictions I have are to nose spray and socks.

(True story.  Don’t judge me.)

Ah…….here’s a dandy of a concept that drives me absolutely bat-shit crazy:

tact/takt/

Noun: 
Adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.

Synonyms: 
delicacy – finesse

Why would this be taboo?

Because most people think they have it, and, truth be told, they really don’t.

By “don’t”, I mean that they actually come off as an asshole.

SOMEtimes…if they are repeatedly prone to using words to hijack a recipient’s emotional state, they just become a bully.

bul·ly/ˈbo͝olē/

Noun: 
-A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
-Corned beef.

And no.  I do not mean of the “corned beef” variety.

(…to be filed under #wtf is that definition!?!)

Many of the chronically afflicted community are targets of these individuals.  I’ll not call them “bullies” directly…I’ll call them the “de-tact-ables”…sounds way cooler.  And, it kind of plays on the fact that they’re simply “detached” from the reality of how they can actually hurt someone who, frankly, is already hurting enough…

I’ve always had a motto, of sorts:

You can be tactFUL without being tactLESS.

Maybe leaving a joke comment on their Facebook wall during an intensely stressful situation isn’t really the most appropriate reaction.  In fact, if it goes so far as to make the recipient feel upset and hurt by your callousness, you might be a “de-tact-able.”

Here’s the thing.

You’re assuming (and well all know how THAT cliché goes) that everyone thinks the same way that you do.  Maybe stressful situations afflict you with verbal diarrhoea.   Maybe you really do think that any situation calls for being purple-painted-ponies-pooping-butterflies-jacked-up-on-SugarSmacks.

Did you stop to think that you are a populous of 1, in a sea of 7 billion?

Maybe you need to realize that your actions or statements need a little refining in the “etiquette” department.

Hell, maybe you don’t even give a shit about etiquette…you’re a free-standing, free-verbalizing individual, right?  HUZZAH!!

Another example is doing that foot-in-mouth thing.  No, I’m not immune, and yes, I’ve done some doozies!!

THEN there’s when doing that foot-in-mouth thing occurs so frequently that it becomes a disease…plaguing the majority of your well-intentioned eloquence.

You start becoming a “de-tact-able”.

You start forgetting where you left your tact.

(probably in that “safe place”, like where I put all my important shit that is so safe, I forget where the hell it is *shame*)

However, when you impose your own system of values and beliefs onto the general public with whom you interact…then you add in the “de-tact-able” issue…then you add in the boisterous “joie de vivre”…well…sometimes you just come off as an asshole.

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone has the right to express said opinion.

It is up to each of us to use our words as the intended meanings they are meant to express…not of callous pre-judgements and cynical retorts.

Words hold power.

With great power…

Signed,

Your friendly neighbourhood Chronic Badass.

(image by: insomniaticthoughts, Tumblr)

 

This post was written for Wego Health’s National Blog Post Month, 2012.

 

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