Yes, I run my own business. Yes, I care for a husband and five children, four of which reside in the home. Yes, I manage the household finances. Yes, I coordinate a plethora of appointments…a symphony of activities.
I can’t tell you if my first thought of this clipart image was one of throwing garbage out, or of tossing a towel into the laundry basket.
Here’s my facebook status du jour:
“Got my citric acid, gelatin and kidney beans while abandoning my meat and tripping over a fireman. Only me. Blog post. Stay tuned. ;o)”
My younger gingers started the school season last week.
Today, my grade 12′er and daycare girls started their school season.
I have officially re-entered the “I’m free to myself during the day” season.
I am happier beyond all logically articulated reason.
Had a few things on my to-do list. Yesterday, however, I was hit hard by a complete blood sugar crash, coupled with an anxiety attack from hell.
To-do list got given the middle finger.
Turned into a “want-to” list.
Off I went to grab some citric acid at the local brewery.
Pillaged the Village for thrift-store jeans for my oldest.
Bank. Have to pay a bill.
Grocery store. Got some products to make a whopping kick ass batch of spaghetti sauce and chili to freeze for the upcoming Brownie/Beaver Scout and football/Nascar-watching season.
My name is Brynn, and I am addicted to thought-processes.
I’m always thinking.
It’s probably why I left my hamburger meat at the grocery store. The whole entire point of the visit. Well, that, and gelatin. For a kick ass DIY project for later this week…because now I’m behind in schedule as I had to go back and sulkily get said stupid bag of hamburger.
It’s also probably why I tripped my I’ve-earned-this-ass right into a fireman. An over 6′ tall tower of a man. I think I lost all cognitive function. Especially when the also over 6′ tall tower of a man who was his colleague stepped in to ensure I was okay.
“Why, yes…I’m just a dumbass who can’t think and walk at the same time, thank you for asking. Haven’t I seen you on True Blood?”
Which rather came out as, “Ewoidfoj athoie whioh woeif h oisdjg ….” as my face flamed to 100 degrees. Sexy.
When I’m asked why I don’t “downsize”…the answer is simple:
It can’t happen.
It’s not the physical nature of being busy, but the nature of the busy-ness itself that literally brings me to the edge of a physical and mental breakdown.
Yes, I often have two slow cookers going at once. Yes, I’ve had, on occasion, the impulse to go wallpaper a bathroom. I’m simply bat-shit crazy like that.
BUT…I can rest from that.
I cannot rest from the “brain drain”.
And it’s gnawing away at my physical function, one thought process at a time.
I have, indeed, put my priorities in place. I think what happens when I get the *finger waggle* at the chaos of my reality, is that people mistake “priorities” with “busy-ness.” I’ve done a lot to improve my priorities.
For example, when I’m overwhelmed with the house, I eliminate the knick-knacks. Less clutter to psychologically manage, as well as dust. I go momma-bitch on toy bins and closets and cupboards (OH MY!) and toss/purge/donate what hasn’t been used in the past 3 months.
What will not happen is the reduction in “busy-ness.” It’s not out of stubbornness…it’s out of reality.
What would help? Well, when I ask for it, of course, that it actually gets done.
Do I worry about it not getting done?
Dude. There are six people in this house. There is no viable reason to “let the dishes sit, they’ll be there tomorrow”…I need the damn dishes to eat from!! Same with laundry. Same with groceries. I’m allergic to household dust (dust “control”, they call it…dust mite poop…frabjous)…I need the damn house clean!
So, kindly keep in mind that it’s not a case of prioritizing, or downsizing, the actual physical manifestations of the chaos of my reality…it’s not just the workload…
…it’s the brainload.
I shall continue my never-ending quest to seek out new opportunities to downsize the brainload but first…spaghetti sauce!