Friday #gladitude!!

BIRDS.

Just puttin’ it out there right away. Stepping outside for the school bus run and hearing the birds. Chirp-chirping away. Spring. Relief. Mood boost without the pharmaceuticals or even, dare I say, the coffee. \m/

The week was a challenging one. My littlest twin was having a mental health crisis and, had it not been for his doting sister, walked off the school bus and went to keep on walking. He wasn’t walking home. Let’s just let that sink in for moment. Managing your demons when you’re 41 is one thing. I can’t imagine how life looks to a little dude of 9 when you feel lost within the scope of your ASD. ūüôĀ We had a huggle and we had a cry and we baby-stepped through the rest of the week.

Coming up with The Hub has been exemplary in its reward versus effort. It appears to be engaging the younglings in a way I’d not expected. Wish I’d thought of it sooner. Glad it was thought of now.

College courses. I may not be the most inspirational person on the planet, with all of my quirks and fuckups and whateverthehell else I beat myself up about…I can sure as shit tell you that I’m kicking ass and taking names along the way. 94% average across all three courses. Because I can. And, it means so much to me to continue to “Do.” things that can better augment my own life, circumstances and events in the hopes of finding that personal reprieve from the daycare which will come in the next year and a bit. Through the brain-fog, through the pain and through the chaos of my reality, I’mma gonna git’er done…one day at a time.

Media bio. I loathe having to craft a media bio because…I just don’t like to talk about myself in that way. Sure, I love when I can use my writing to highlight topics that resonate with people and their validation of it, in return. Who doesn’t? Seriously. Not a rhetorical question. BUT…I did realize something: I find it difficult because there are so many aspects of “Me.” that I could write about, how to fit it in a short blurb?

I’m proud of that. I’m proud and will stand up for that on every level. Kubb Canada, Chartered Herbalist, mother, health advocate, geek, gamer, scrapbooker, mixed media artist….Always “Do.”ing when there are days when I don’t want to “Do.” at all.

Which brings me to Pristiq. I’m all about the complimentary health care. I am. But when you need (and have been deservedly and eloquently directed to consider when your view is skewed by pride and ignorance, perhaps) it, pharmaceuticals are a godsend. Further, it’s the making of the choice. I don’t like pharmaceuticals for the management of MY¬†anxiety and depression, but not for the reasons you may think.

It’s not the stigma. It’s not the fear of feeling like a “failure” to manage myself in any way.

Nope. It’s the fear of adding chemicals to an already overwhelmed and overstimulated body. The fear of the effects of new chemicals upon damaged tissues. The fear of systemic rejection to chemicals that shouldn’t (technically) be there at all.

What I fail at, always, is properly articulating my fears to the masses who know this is the best course of action for my snafu’d self. Social anxiety, maybe. Not used to communicating, meh, maybe. It’s something I’m going to have to learn and implement. STAT.

Fear goes away pretty fast when you achieve quiescence. There’s simply no logical reason to deny my snafu’d chemical imbalance the reprieve it deserves. Or, y’know, to deny the aggregate¬†of humanity itself. *shifty eyes*

Guinea-lovin's

Guinea-lovin’s

Guinea pigs. I’m not shitting you. My daughter received two guinea pigs a few weeks ago and, truth be told, I really love the damn things. I’ve never been a fan of them before. They’re….weird….to me. Oddities. *shrug* Maybe that’s what I like about them right now. Latte and Chewbacca. Also, they’ll live a lot longer, which puts my Deep Freezer of Death, with its two hamster-ian residents, at ease.

 

Gaming. Admittedly, I suck ass at playing video games. But, I love it. I love solving¬†things, doing quests and generally blowing shit up. The direct escapism is one that I can’t fully articulate and so when my week of assignments have all been submitted…you can be sure my SpazzyAss gamer self is trying to send Dogmeat the OTHER way, not THAT way and holyshitisthataDeathClaw button smash.

*shifty eyes*

What did you do and see that you took the time to notice this week that may have otherwise gone unseen?

One response to “Friday #gladitude!!

  1. Brynn~

    This is perfectly stated:
    “It’s the fear of adding chemicals to an already overwhelmed and overstimulated body. The fear of the effects of new chemicals upon damaged tissues. The fear of systemic rejection to chemicals that shouldn’t (technically) be there at all”. With over 20 prescriptions and the rise of health care costs, and nothing is well not going anywhere, I’ve taken some matters in my own hands. I’ve been making natural products and I share with my loved ones around here. Snow day, I made enough lip balm for all the ladies at work. Why not? You should sell this! No, I don’t want to sell it. I want to share it. I enjoy playing with it. I use them religiously. I’ve seen some hair growth. My dermatologist was in awww of my roscea, what are you doing? I told him. He said rock on. Do whatever works for you. I have so many chemicals in my system, I don’t think my body really knows what it’s doing. When I hurt, I just hurt. My pharmas may “aid” but who am I kidding. It’s a lifetime of taking them, but at least I can do something in my control. Granted, the EOs are an investment, but I love doing it. I’m trying to do more things for myself as I’m getting elderly…LOL My mind does not feel that way, but my body, oh yes it does. Camping is in the future. El Cheapo cruise in the future. I used to be such the go-getter in the business, and overly educated it’s ridiculous and not really needed in my job (working to have medical care and I need to save for what I’m not spending on co-pays since I know disability will be in the future). It doesn’t matter any more. I need to be happy. I need to make it count. Hon, the classes are amazing for you!! You keep it up. It’s a great influence on you! You can do it. I’m very proud of you. Guinea pigs…LOL my son had one. I loved on that thing since it was a what? a pup? What are they? Piglet? It grew into an “adult” well unfortunately my body rejected his dander…swelled my eyes up I had to get a shot in the tukus. It was awful. We had him for a very long life. I just could not love on him. Or clean his cage (darn). Enjoy the little things. You are awesome with your kids! You rock and hang in there.

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