#HAWMC Day 8: The WAHM…

#HAWMC Day 8: Off to work! What advice would you give to those on the job search? How do you juggle your job and a chronic illness? Any tips for the interview?”

This prompt makes me highly uncomfortable and longing to dive head-first into a vat of chocolate.

Anyone know what I currently do for a “living”?

I “babysit.”

(let’s see how many air quotes I use in *this* post)

In actuality, I run a private home daycare…have for the past six years. Just over six years, actually. Huhn. No shit.

Anyone know what my “profession” is?

I am a law clerk.

Once the twins were coming, I knew there was no way on this circular blue orb that I would be returning to work. My daughter was only 19 months old when the boys were born…the elder boys were six years old and 10 years old.

I would be paying for childcare for FOUR children? I think not.

But, there were bills to pay, diapers to launder, metric tons of food to purchase…

They were four when I received my diagnosis three years ago. First, Lupus. Six months later, fibromyalgia. I’ve had Type II diabetes since 2004.

I don’t have options for job searching.

I don’t have a witty sentiment for the interview process.

I DO have the memory of a job I absolutely loved and was damn good at turn into wiping snotty noses and bums of other people’s children.

Am I good at that, too?

DAMN. STRAIGHT.

But, it hurts a lil’ on the inside. I still have many dreams about being back at the firm.

And, no. I would not go back. *sniff* To undertake to have to micromanage the universe AND produce intensive documentation full time? My body would knock me out six ways to Sunday and end the assault with a *middle finger salute*.

It’s come up many times, in conversation with my husband. I’m totally a kick-ass mother…but mothering is not what makes me, “Me.” It’s a part of “Me.” and the rest is built on skills and education I take heartfelt pride in having acquired.

Thus, being a work-at-home mom….meh.

What I’ve done, however, it to continue pursuing academics as they apply to my current position as a health advocate/activist…I became a Chartered Herbalist. Knowledge gained and potential for income earnings should I choose.

What my children see, is their mother making the best of a less-than-stellar circumstance.

What they will always see, and learn, is that when life hands you lemons…grab the tequila and salt and recognize that:

let-go

 

Sooooooooooooo…how do I manage?

1) I downsized to before and after school care.

2) During the PD days, I always have a schedule for planning and self-directed activities. The hour after lunch is ALWAYS reading/quiet time. This gives me the chance to let my eyes flutter and my body completely rest.

3) I put paid sick days into my contract before I’d even started. I rarely use them, but I don’t have the stress if I have a migraine, or worse.

4) I fully came to recognize that children are highly capable individuals who love to help. Now that they’re all older, I don’t serve…they come to take their plates. I don’t clear the table…they each are responsible for bringing their meal dishes to the sink. Little things that can add up on the “to-do” list and add stress and physical demand.

5) “Let it go.” (how many are singing that in their heads…right…now?!?!?)  Honestly, they are not going to melt if they are left to play Twister on their own. They certainly won’t mind a “movie and jammie” day if you know you’re running on fumes. Make a theme! Lilo & Stitch while eating a Hawiian pizza for lunch? Groovy. 🙂

I’ve had to adjust many times along the way…and although it’s not the “life I’d dreamed”…I’m making a good run of it as I am able. \m/

 

3 responses to “#HAWMC Day 8: The WAHM…

  1. Thank You for this. I really needed this before I head off to my ‘not working in the film industry’ job today. Sometimes it’s hard not to dwell on the ‘could have beens’.

    You, as usually, inspire me to be a better person. <3

    • So hard, absolutely. If I had a dollar for every “could’a, should’a, would’a, wished’a”…I’d have enough to not have to work at all! \m/ I think the very nature of people going off to do things that *aren’t* what we want to do is really inspiring itself. I’ve had to make little mantras for myself in order to get through the feelings of wishdoms. xoxo

  2. “What my children see, is their mother making the best of a less-than-stellar circumstance.”

    And that will be a HUGE skill that they will have learned from you!:)
    If kids learn by example, yours are going to know how to : Own their shit, make something of nothing, love and appreciate, and do their best no matter what sticks the cosmos will stick in their bicycle spokes.
    And that, thats pretty badass <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *