There’s a sadz in the world.
People. Humanity. A collective.
I’ve had to take a “news hiatus” because the state of people makes me so very, very sad. Makes me triggered. Makes me angry. And, that’s how the cycle worsens.
I had the unfortunate incident of an assault upon myself yesterday by a completely unknown-t0-me assailant. I’ll be fine, but I thought I’d blog about it because in no Cosmos ever is violence or harassment against women ever okay.
So, I’d posted on Facebook about it.
I’d also *not* posted on Facebook about three times previously to that before I’d reluctantly hit that “post” button to begin with.
Do you know why that is? Because, society questions the victim. Always.
“What did you do???”
Instead of asking the offenders, “Why did you do that???”
It makes me sad. All kinds of crazy-level sad.
I’d asked, though. I’d been leered at, cat-called and other such nonsensical commentary from a male who knows nothing about the “Me.” I sure as shit don’t deserve fucktardery on that kind of level. I work too hard at self-evolution and generally not being an asshole on any given day to bow out to someone with a sense of entitlement to tell me how my ass must feel or how my sweet lips must taste.
One of my strengths is the ability to eloquently tell someone their actions are inappropriate. I can tell you to fuck off and you’ll expect to enjoy the journey.
Yesterday, someone threw a little man-tantrum and gave me a middle finger salute.
With a fist.
To my face.
I did what needed to be done…and that’s the most amazing thing. I did do it…go to the police station and file a report. Do you know how many women do not?
Have a look-see.
Know what happened this morning?
I awoke and I didn’t hate the world.
I’m sore as hell and I’m missing my Nonna’s funeral today because of all this crazy, random happenstance fucktardery and I sorely wish there was a Starbucks within walking distance because…COFFEE.
And, I will continue. To live, to breathe, to post, to raise awareness, to drink coffee and sure as shit to start the last of the three college courses today that I’m taking to try to add a new and exciting value to my “Me.”
I have a voice.
You have a voice.
I think my saving grace in this world that continues to objectify women are the men in my life…my friends…my proverbial ”brothers” to this only child. They have taught me to not fear so forcefully. And, I thank them. Profusely.
They have taught me that men can stand up to the violence they witness from other men against the women they love…spouses, partners, sisters, friends…
Marvel has a Hulk.
I have a choice.
Here are the things I cannot control: PTSD and fucktards.
Here are the things I can control: my reaction to the PTSD and to the fucktards.
Seriously. What else should I do? Whine? Okay, well I can do that, “It fucking hurts.” It’ll pass.
Emotionally? Yeah, I’m perturbed. I’ve been shaken, but not broken.
I’ve also done something many women do not: I’ve told you exactly what happened. Maybe not all the deets, because, really…
I haven’t “fallen” or slipped in the bathtub. I haven’t covered my face with my scarf or my hood.
No. I made a choice. I re-drew my eyebrow and put a spot of lip balm on.
Somehow, somewhere, I hope another woman chooses to do the same.
I hope she chooses to persevere through trauma with the support of her friends and community while they themselves continue to question the bullies and the fucktards while she heals and treads through the system of justice.
It takes a village to raise a child.
It takes a global community to stop violence against women.
I hope you’ll be a part of my choice.