I *AM* a Superhero….I just need a name….

I got to thinking, after receiving a particularly poignant message about being inspirational and strong and a hero….how utterly uncomfortable I am hearing it. Why? *shrug* Because maybe there are times where I’m curled up in a ball and want to cry for a year. That doesn’t sound so “superhero-y” to me. Because maybe sometimes I loathe and spew venom upon the absolute shit-storm that has been the chaos of my reality for FAR too long….That doesn’t sound so “superhero-y” to me, either.

Then I’d remembered a Facebook post I’d done November 10, 2009….and it hit me…holy buggernackles!!! If I was doing what I was doing THEN, not having a bloody CLUE what my body was actually enduring…doing what I was doing thinking I was losing my mind, that one couldn’t possibly be made to endure the relentless pain and fatigue and everything else that was going on in my poor, frakked up body…..Well…..holy crap on cracker, Batman…..move the hell over!!
Here’s the post…..enjoy. I’m off to ponder a name….. ;o)
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Skin: a hazy grey…for the nights I’ve gotten 2 hours of sleep and am still required to haul my ass out of bed for full-time work the following day…for the malnourishment that comes with not having the time to eat, or having to share anything I DO get to eat.

Face: see the raised eyebrow? For my “you’ve GOT to be kidding me” factor of daily living.

Hair: Short enables me to eliminate extraneous minutes blowdrying or brushing, thus enabling myself to actually pee AND brush my teeth. Notice the colour. Dyed. I never want to see the result of the stress levels on my hair….

Mask: Forget it. I don’t have time to put one on.

Helmet: Thought hard about this…about as hard as my head reverberating off the wall as I try to walk down two sets of stairs at 2 a.m. to get medicine for some child. I get a helmet. Nuff said.

Undershirt: Long sleeved, for insane bus runs at -35 degrees Celsius, but still needs to be somewhat womanly, thus the v-neck, to allow sight of whatever cleavage I may still possess after having umpteen children….Black hides the dirt. No worries about deodorant “whities”…I don’t have time to put any on…

Overshirt: Merely a waistlet…slimming, of course, to tuck up extraneous belly resulting from having umpteen children…also vertically slimming lineage…purple to indicate there could still be SOME mystery left to me….

Insignia: Lightning bolt…self explanatory as I have approximately 2.2 seconds to 2.2 minutes to accomplish any particular task.

Leggings: Full length to ankle, so as not to need to worry as to whether I’ll have the extra 2.2 minutes to do a right good hack job on my legs shaving. Black…very slimming, hides dirt, thus postponing laundry for another 2.2 days…

Footwear: Leather black and purple FMB’s…because even having umpteen children, there are still enough mysteries about me to make me feel sexy 😉 however, notice that they are, indeed, flats…

Gloves: Ya, no gloves…too many episodes of handwashing…I don’t have the time to take them on and off. Forearm wraps? COOL. Secondary protection from toddler bites and grabbing overcooked food from the oven, thus not burning my flesh to compare to my food….

Belt: Standard utility…I get the sexy stuff after they’ve all moved out. Enough pockets to hold cell phone, Kleenex packages, hand sanitizer, band-aids and a protein bar.

Coat: No coat. I don’t have time to put one on.

Weapon: Energy force. Useful for annihilating mess, scaring the shit out of older children when they give you attitude, or for shocking your own ass to keep going…merely a method of compensation factor going on here….

Shield: I have neither the free hands nor time to remember to bring it with me.

Cape: Ya, right. With my luck I’d get my cape sucked up by the vacuum.

One response to “I *AM* a Superhero….I just need a name….

  1. "Because maybe there are times where I'm curled up in a ball and want to cry for a year. That doesn't sound so "superhero-y" to me."

    Every good super-hero has an angst story though. It is necessary for good plot development 😉

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