I can prove it.
I’m a damned “tenderized” cow…easy on the tender.
There’s a slew of ideas I’d had to call this post…”When hugs hurt”, for example. But it all came down to the cow, courtesy of my loving man.
No, no…he didn’t call me a cow. Good heavens, I know where he sleeps. No, last night was just another usual, “For the love of all things holy I need you to rub something NOW!!!” kind of night.
And, as usual, there were points on my knee that, generally speaking, he knows not to touch or face the possibility of getting said knee all up in his junk. And, as usual, this can sometimes, in the light of fatigue and likely the “holy cripes, again?” factor…be forgotten.
So, it stands to reason that my logical function dictated to me that I might be better served drawing circles around the places he can’t touch. Which then extrapolated into my vision of this:
I am Jack’s tender cow.
But this was not clear enough. See, the difference is kind of like when people with fibromyalgia discuss the difference between “tender” points and “trigger” points.
What’s the diff? (read: Where’s the beef?)
Tender points are defined as soft tissue body points that, upon placing gentle pressure, generally make you want to vomit…after scraping yourself off of the ceiling. “Highly sensitive”, they call it. No shit.
These points of the body are used in the clinical diagnosis of fibro.
There are 18 of them. I friggin’ dare you to touch mine. *evil eye*
I digress (but, hey…alien woman here is eerily accurate in describing how I feel at any given time…wonder if I could do the Vulcan mind-meld? I digress…again…)
So, no. When my loving, generous man is in the throes of the “For the love of all things holy I need you to rub something NOW!!!” kind of night…he generally knows NOT to touch these areas. These areas are “Bessie” areas.
This does not factor in the “Trigger Points”. For all you fun-loving science and visually dominating learning types…here’s one of those “I can prove it” examples of “trigger points”:
Trigger points? Wikipedia says it best:
Trigger points, also known as trigger sites or muscle knots, are described as hyper-irritable spots in skeletal muscle that are associated with palpable nodules in taut bands of muscle fibers. … Compression of a trigger point may elicit local tenderness, referred pain, or local twitch response. The local twitch response is not the same as a muscle spasm. This is because a muscle spasm refers to the entire muscle contracting whereas the local twitch response also refers to the entire muscle but only involves a small twitch, no contraction.
Focus, people: Hyper-irritable. Pain.
Some people need injections INTO the trigger point, “trigger point injections” (Did someone win an award for THAT?? Where’s the Latin?). A NEEDLE. INTO. THE. TRIGGER. POINT.
Bessie’s got nothin‘ on this. If the above “tender points” image didn’t work for you…this one most assuredly shows how it REALLY feels…”trigger points”…
Uh huh. Poor Shane.
(mental note to self: jock cup for birthday gift?)
See the difference? This guy is oh-so-very much more…uh…specific. I could use this to my advantage.
Given how most chronic illnesses are like a box of chocolates…you nev’a know what you’re gonna get…on any given Sunday I can now present a list.
A list of, “Short Loin is out of service today. Please do not touch.”
Or…”Touch #2 on the Foreshank and Brisket and you die.”
So, yes…it stands to reason that hugs most certainly DO hurt. Do I stop giving hugs?
NO. The physical discomfort cannot replace the emotional comfort created by getting/giving a hug.
BUT…I thought it might be beneficial to the community at large that if I were to, say…decline…a hug…that it in no way is to be considered an affront to you.
Better yet…if you are aware that the person you wish to wrap your arms around is a chronic badass…open your arms wide and wait for us to wrap around you.
You’ll be in a better position to judge the appropriate amount of pressure to reciprocate, made oh-so-very much easier by not having a knee all up in your junk.
Just sayin’. ;o)