Indigestion….

So. There are books. There are magazines. There are forums. There are websites.
Hell, there are even Apps for that.
I had envisioned taking time to calmly collect my thoughts, put all my eggs in a basket (eggs have 0.4/0.6’ish grams of carbs. I can sleep well now knowing this. *venomous sarcasm*)…take time to digest all of the TONS of new information thrown at me from what seems like every direction.
It doesn’t agree with me…it most certainly does NOT do a body good, Calgon CANNOT take me away and Scotty can’t lock on to my sorry arse to beam me the hell UP.
Blargh.
I know I bitch and complain a lot right now…because it’s new. It’s all NEW. And UNKNOWN. And holy-crap-on-a-cracker what the hell did I do to deserve THIS?
One year ago I was a strong, independent…fiercely so, I might add…woman. Now I feel like Jello pudding (which has 25 grams of carbs…just so you know and can sleep better)….squishy…unstable…MUSH.
I get mad at everything, I admit…I haven’t yet accepted my conditions and am fighting it tooth and nail…not forward, unfortunately, where my efforts would be better served. No, I’m just torked off…and I hate that people feel awkward and don’t know what to say. Therefore, I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll blog, of course, or write it in a journal…but I cannot take the pain and loneliness I feel when someone just blinks at me after I’ve discussed something about how I’m feeling.
[Well, YOU asked!!]
So, in all fairness….what would I like to hear? Hmmmmmm….wow, it’s really a tough one, that. I figure it would need to be something very “neutral”…you cannot possibly empathize, not having it yourself, of course…and I don’t ever like to hear people downgrade their own personal wellbeing by comparing it to mine…that’s not fair for anyone!!
“I can’t imagine what that is like.” Hmmm. Generic. Little unemotional. Works, though.
Of course, asking for more information is great, I suppose….”So what about [whatever] makes your pain so much more unbearable than last week?” Hmmm…actually, that sounds really condescending…never mind. Goes back to that “You did it last week…”
“Is there some area that I could help you in?” Ooooo, that’s a good one. I’ll likely brush it off, because I’m awful at acknowledging help and my OCD brain doesn’t compute relinquishing control in any way….but I’m really, REALLY trying to think of things…energy work…helpful…ideas for how to destress….helpful…but please understand…I require “reality“…there are 100 athletic clubs in the city with eleventy-billion classes that would make me feel better….I KNOW…but I have a job, five children (two with major difficulties) and a house to manage…there are also access visits by the youngling’s daddy…etc, etc…
What else. Information!! Links to nutritional sites, perhaps? Anything to cut my time down from the computer/books/magazine articles.
I don’t know :o( I’m so overwhelmed right now…I guess. I almost wish I had never found out.

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