Lupus got SERVED.

                        Court file no.:

ONTARIO

SUPERIOR COURT OF JUSTICE

BETWEEN:

PATTIE BRYNN HULTQUIST

            Plaintiff

(Court seal)                                                      and

SYSTEMIC LUPUS ERYTHEMATOSUS

            (also known as, “Lupus”)

Defendant

 STATEMENT OF CLAIM

TO THE DEFENDANT

     A LEGAL PROCEEDING HAS BEEN COMMENCED AGAINST YOU by the plaintiff.  The claim made against you is set out in the following pages.

     IF YOU WISH TO DEFEND THIS PROCEEDING, you or an Ontario lawyer acting for you must prepare a statement of defence in Form 18A prescribed by the Rules of Civil Procedure, serve it on the plaintiff’s lawyer or, where the plaintiff does not have a lawyer, serve it on the plaintiff, and file it, with proof of service in this court office, WITHIN TWENTY DAYS after this statement of claim is served on you, if you are served in Ontario.

If you are served in another province or territory of Canada or in the United States of America, the period for serving and filing your statement of defence is forty days.  If you are served outside Canada and the United States of America, the period is sixty days.

Instead of serving and filing a statement of defence, you may serve and file a notice of intent to defend in Form 18B prescribed by the Rules of Civil Procedure.  This will entitle you to ten more days within which to serve and file your statement of defence.

IF YOU FAIL TO DEFEND THIS PROCEEDING, JUDGMENT MAY BE GIVEN AGAINST YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE AND WITHOUT FURTHER NOTICE TO YOU.  IF YOU WISH TO DEFEND THIS PROCEEDING BUT ARE UNABLE TO PAY LEGAL FEES, LEGAL AID MAY BE AVAILABLE TO YOU BY CONTACTING A LOCAL LEGAL AID OFFICE.

IF YOU PAY THE PLAINTIFF’S CLAIM, and $5,000.00  for costs, within the time for serving and filing your statement of defence you may move to have this proceeding dismissed by the court.  If you believe the amount claimed for costs is excessive, you may pay the plaintiff’s claim and $400 for costs and have the costs assessed by the court.

 

Date                                                           Issued by

Local registrar

Address of court office

161 Elgin Street

Ottawa, Ontario

K2P 2L1

 

TO  Systemic Lupus Erythematosus

Immune system of Pattie Brynn Hultquist

Related organs, including, but not limited to,

Heart, kidneys; and joints, skin and hair.

 

THIS ACTION IS BROUGHT AGAINST YOU UNDER THE SIMPLIFIED PROCEDURE PROVIDED IN RULE 76 OF THE RULES OF CIVIL PROCEDURE.

CLAIM

1.  The plaintiff claims:

A. AS TO THE PLAINTIFF, PATTIE BRYNN HULTQUIST

(a)        damages in the amount of $1,000,000.00;

(b)        prejudgment interest pursuant to the provisions of the Courts

of Justice Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.43, as amended;

(c)        such further and other relief as to this Honourable Court may

seem just.

B. AS TO THE PLAINTIFF, PATTIE BRYNN HULTQUIST

(a)        The Plaintiff states that she has sustained permanent serious impairments of important physical, mental or psychological functions and/or permanent serious disfigurement  within the meaning of Section 267.5(5) of the  Insurance Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. I.8, as amended, such that the Defendant is liable  for all  of the injuries  and losses  sustained by the Plaintiff as a result of the Defendant’s riDONKulous possession of her immune system.

(b)        The Plaintiff further states that she has sustained a catastrophic impairment within the meaning of the Insurance Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. I.8, as amended, arising directly or indirectly from the selfish use of the Defendants’ tricky cellular snafu such  that  the Defendant  is liable  for the damages for health care expenses that she has incurred and will incur in the future arising as a result of the aforementioned riDONKulous possession of her immune system.

(c)        The Plaintiff further states that the Defendant might as well just give it up.  She has a cape.

 November 8, 2012                                                                               Pattie Brynn Hultquist

Ottawa, Ontario

**DISCLAIMER: The actual citations used in this post are NOT ones that reflect an actual illustration of the proper legal ability to file a claim in this regard.  It has to be said.  Y’know, just in case. I just wanted to have a little fun, being a law clerk and all…if there are warnings not to use hair dryers in the shower, well…**

 

This post was written for Wego Health’s National Health Blog Post Month, 2012.

2 responses to “Lupus got SERVED.

  1. Brynn– I laughed so very hard at this one. You’ve added so many extremely useful words to my vocabulary, the newest one being “ridonkulous”. You may have lupus, my Canadian sister, but it damn well doesn’t have you. If I were the judge, you would CERTAINLY receive damages!
    xoxoxo

    • If I got damages I would first travel around to meet all you frabjous ladies. Then I’d get myself a cabana boy. And drinks with lil’ pink umbrellies in ’em to wash down the pills.

      Yes. That. 😉
      xox

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *