Mirror, Mirror…

NHBPM Day 21: “Write about mental health.

What could I possibly bring to the sea of insanity that hasn’t been said already?

Hmmmm.

Lemme try mental health in this light:

*clears throat*

We all know the power that mental health issues can have on the physical being.

Some might even be aware of the power that mental health issues can have our our energetic being.

For example: You’re….in a…mood.  How quickly does it take (use a timer if you have to…I’m dead serious…) for the rest of your family to follow suit?

Mine? Less  than 10 minutes.

Now, turn it around.

For example: You’re in a FRABJOUS mood!  How long does your family mimic your enthusiasm?

Mine? Approximatly 3/4 of the day (because I’ve a gaggle/flock/herd of kids and it’s statistically impossible to please everyone for every second of the day…).

Let me extrapolate a little further……..

What if you were experiencing several successive times/events of “blech.”

Nothing is going right.  It hasn’t been going right for days.

Maybe it hasn’t been going right for weeks.  Months?

You’re irritable.  You’re confused.  You’re trying everything you can to manifest it to the cosmos (and the outer rings of Saturn) to make this shitty stretch of life go away and just be…”normal.”  Or, at the very least, less bat-shit crazy.

Now I’m going to propose something so off the wall…so offbeat…perhaps even a little risqué by today’s of the National Board on the Standard of Taboo (no, not really…I just made that up).

I’m going to propose that perhaps the glitch in your gitch, that snide in your stride…is really because of………………………

You.

I’ve learned something over the past several years that I am SO thankful that I took the time to hoist up the big girl panties and have a go at:

ME.

MYSELF.

MOI.

I came to learn many things about myself, that have forever changed the way I communicate, present myself, act, react, etc.

I came to learn these many thing by looking at the thing that no one wants to look at…

….the ICK.

And by “ick”, I mean the really deep down, nasty parts about ourselves that impede our evolution into the people we wish to become.  The scary parts.  The parts you would rather go to the dentist to avoid looking at.

I came to the understanding a few years back that my relationships were all failures, my kids had no coping skills, I was in financial limbo living cheque to cheque and I finally pushed myself to ask THE QUESTION.

“What is the common denominator between of all the stupid/ riDONKulous/ crappy/ awful/ hard/ shitty parts of my life?”

Dude.

The answer was: ME.

Holy crap on a cracker.  (O.O)

Here are a few of the things that I’ve learned, and that have helped me gain a better mental focus for myself, my health and my relationships:

1.  Learn your weaknesses.  ALL of them.  Even the deep-down “I really hope no one ever sees that part of me” weaknesses.  Further still, acknowledge your weaknesses.  Only in balance can you find yourself able to walk up the steps that will take you where you want to be in life.  Y’know the old adage of “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer”?  That’s right.  Keep ’em right up where you can see ’em.  A reminder of what you don’t want to see or manifest in your daily life.

2.  Learn how to communicate.  I spent decades of my life being taught, “Speak to people the way you expect to be spoken to.”  Uh, last time I checked (that would actually, um, be today), we don’t all think the same, the don’t all process information the same, how the hell are we supposed to SPEAK the same?

Are you prepared to learn about other people?  Are you prepared to hear that not everyone has to like you, agree with you or follow your every Tweet /Status /Pin?  Are you comfortable to know that you can do the same?  My best weapon of choice has been, “So what I’m hearing from you is………………..is that right?”

(oooooooooooooooo, Nelly, this was a big one…I’ve been preaching the “not everyone has to read your blog”…but I did not extrapolate it to other social media…this was a doozy for me)

3.  Own your shit.  If you believe something…stick with it.  I spent years being a “Yes”-man.  “I still want people to like me and I want them to care about the things that are important to me, but I’ll agree with them just in case.”  If you make a mistake…fix it.  If you want something, be prepared to do the work to get it.

With these simply complex understandings, I have found a difference in the way I carry myself…the way I still continue to learn and want to improve myself…the way people relate to me…

It’s an ongoing process.

It’s an evolution of personal improvement.

And, because I’m purposely, with intent, trying to pro-actively modify and/or alter my perceptions on certain past behaviours and habitual reactions to people and events and circumstances, I am better armed to deal with how to attain my personal goals and needs.

“No one likes to look at their “rough edges”….but how will you know where to polish so that you’ll shine?” ~ Brynn Hultquist, 2012

 

This post was written for Wego Health’s National Blog Post Month, 2012.

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