It’s really starting to piss me off. And I’m gonna tell you why.
First, the backstory:
I developed gestational diabetes with my third pregnancy with my daughter. I had so many glucose tests (that horrid orange drink that makes you feel like your head is underwater)…so many, “Come back and see me in two weeks” …that by the time they figured out that, yes, indeed, I had gestational diabetes, I was 37 weeks pregnant and why bother starting any therapies…I’d already made it a week past my other two pregnancies.
So, I went to see a nutritionist for a 30 minute consult where I was shown the Canada Food Guide and the proper size of a muffin.
Six months later, at yet another glucose test…all was well.
Enter pregnancy with twins.
Not only was I dropped like a lead balloon from the local midwifery clinic, I was immediately put into a “high-risk” status at 18 weeks when it was discovered that one twin’s weight jumped from the other by a 30% difference. I had a glucose test early. I failed it miserably.
Long story short, I saw the diabetes specialists at the hospital (once per week) who set me up to take insulin injections four times a day. They taught me how to jab needles into my swollen belly. They explained the difference in the insulins… one for daytime, one for overnight. They told me what numbers to look for.
They sent me on my way. Every week.
Enter child + child.
Six months later, at yet another glucose test…all was most certainly not well.
Here’s the numbers to look for.
Still high…not a pill once per day…three times per day.
Enter eye exams.
Receptionist, looking at my intake form at new optometrist’s office: “Oh, you have diabetes?”
Oh, sweet-tits…I have a mutha freakin’ autoimmune disorder causing kidney failure and heart attacks…but yes….yes, I have “diabetes.” *twinkle toes*
NOT ONCE, was I ever taught that diabetes is a disease.
NOT ONCE, was it ever explained to me the correlation between diabetes and eye problems, liver and pancreas issues, heart problems, kidney issues and most sure as shit NOT about any vascular damage.
NOT ONCE, was it EVER thought of to send me to any educational sessions in order to provide me with the reasons/causes/treatments available to me in any form.
“Oh, getting a reading of X.X in the mornings…well, that’s not really high…mine are much higher.”
Do I giveth a shiteth? Are you me? Do you know what my numbers are that I’m supposed to look for? This one REALLY pisses me off. Quit it.
Here it is, in black and pale yellow (because I’m too preoccupied this morning to look for cool HTML colour codes):
Morning before breakfast: <5.3 mmol/L
Two hours after eating: <5.8 mmol/L
“You should try a _______ diet.”
Guess what. There’s a structured eating “lifestyle” for people with diabetes. Your “diet” or way of eating uses alternatives/flours/starches that shoot my glucose levels up the same amount as eating a tablespoon of sugar…but thanks for suddenly being my endocrinologist…
Honestly? I DO appreciate the suggestions and such…because it means people try to help make a difference for me. Unfortunately, what sometimes happens, is that it really undermines my ability to research the conditions that affect ME. I don’t just have diabetes. I don’t just have fibro. I don’t just have a plethora of secondary syndromes.
I have an autoimmune disease with organ involvement that is more complex than trying to find the Higgs boson particle.
If doctors don’t know…. well…. y’know?
So, amid a bombardment of all things “this really is about me, and me alone” … I’ve had to also manage my anger and resentment at a healthcare system that shuffled my fodder arse into glucose purgatory.
The, “Oh, it will go away (well, likely) after the baby is born.”
But wait! There’s more!
“Well, it will make you more likely to develop Type 2 diabetes in the future.”
Cuz it’s here. Now.
The more I research the autoimmune disease that is slowly killing my existence…the more I understand why the focus is on the diabetes. It always has been on the diabetes.
And it’s scary as hell.
So, I’ve determined that I must shift a portion of my focus upon my health to the sugary kryptonite that binds me. I’ve registered for diabetes education sessions. I’m sure I know most of it. Actually, I’m certain I know most of it.
What I’m hoping to garner is the seriousness and severity of the possibilities that exist by its presence. THAT is what was never imprinted on me…the reality.
The importance of understanding the seriousness.
I need it articulated just how important glucose management is.
I need it described as the bastard disease it is.
Because…only just in the past year…did I even know it was considered a disease.
That is simply not acceptable in my books. Literally. I know which organs govern which breakdown of which sugars and carbohydrates.