Soul Restoration: Week Three

…and by “Week Three”…it’s more of, like, a guideline.

As in, not-on-your-life-going-to-happen-consecutively kind of “Week Three.”

‘Cuz I’m busy.

Any by “busy,” I mean…BIZ-AY.

Third week of the Soul Restoration workshop hosted by the Brave Girls Club.

Weak Self.

Strong Self.

Can’t we all just get along?!?!?

I was a little surprised by how weak my weak self is, and just how much of a bully my strong self is.

If I return to the “Yes-man” pushover that I have been pretty much all of my life, I can get myself out of it…let my Strong Self come on back and run the roost.

Problem is…I belittle my Weak Self like nothing else. 🙁 I do. And it took me this week’s lesson to realize just how much I do.

How can you keep doing that?? Why can’t you just stop? Oh, for gods sake…grow the fuck up! You can be a Honours student, but can’t control that?!? Seriously? You know in your head it’s silly….C’mon…shut up and keep walking.

I would never (and by “never”, I mean NEVER) say those kinds of things to or about anyone else…what the hell do I find it permissible to speak to myself that way?

Even more…whose friggin’ fucked up expectations am I holding myself to?!?!?

MINE???

(O.O) <—–bug-eyed look of absolute horror

Thing is, I am a Whole Self. I need to nurture my not-so-strong self and support my kiss-ass kick-ass self.

It’s really supposed to be a WIN-WIN, here. Through my journal prompts, I endeavour to look a little deeper and ask/confirm why I ever thought it was okay to speak to myself that way and…here’s the kicker…accept and love the ALL that is “Me.”

I’m trying.

These concepts are hard and uncomfortable, but by facing them, I’m beginning to realize…to accept…and to HEAL.

WIN.

Can my Strong Self hold the hand of my Weak Self...and live harmoniously together...

Can my Strong Self hold the hand of my Weak Self…and live harmoniously together…

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