It’s totally a word.
Here I sit, finally at my laptop, writing on a blog (I just typed “blag” because it’s been One Of Those Days) that turns SEVEN YEARS OLD today!
Facebook reminded me of of something I’d posted seven years ago (I think it was that I’d joined Facebook) and I remembered it was end of March and “hey-didn’t-I-start-my-blog-around-this-time” went through my mind powers.
Indeed. Seven years ago today I’d started Lupus Interrupted with a hope to help friends and family understand Lupus and all of its dastardly ills.
Honestly? It doesn’t feel right. I went and looked at the date of my first blog post and I was incredulous.
It’s only been seven years?
Huhn. It feels like I’ve been fighting this stupid bastard of a disease for, like, millennia. Eons. Googleplexes of eons.
So, what’s been up:
- Depression. Badly, aching, soul-is-broken Black Dog that I’m only *just* maybe/kinda/sorta shaking off as this beautiful blue & green orb hurtling through time & space flew into Spring.
- Lupus. Still not in remission. Agonizingly intensive chemo sessions and it didn’t fucking work. *middle finger salute*
- Fibro. Because when you’ve got one disease, all the other afflictions still wanna come out to play. I didn’t invite it. It came six months after my diagnosis only seven years ago (eight years this fall)…just as this blog came six months after my Lupus diagnosis.
- Changed the work. Closed the daycare back at the end of July last year and hummed and hawed about “what the hell to do now?” for many months.
- Got MRI results from second MRI from the attempted murder last summer. I didn’t enjoy the results.
- Lupus team is currently still trying to find open clinical trials OR a treatment plan that won’t, y’know…stop my heart.
- Hearts are assholes. But, apparently very necessary for the continuation of cellular activity. *shrugs*
- Brains are uber-assholes. Both for inclination to damage AND to depressive lies it tells oneself.
- Didn’t get the job I’d wanted.
- Got the job I NEEDED.
S0, these days you’ll find me working (because ODSP is also a distant cousin of the Asshole family) and I was denied (as most people are) on my first application. I do not feel at this point I can manage the stress and anxiety of appeals. Multiple appeals, apparently.
No, I found, applied, interviewed, interviewed with HR, received/accepted job offer AND received orientation all within four days last mid-November…
…at our city’s local health foods and supplements store.
Yeah, it was miserable trying to get my damn Go, Go Spazzy Legs adjusted.
Yeah, it was miserable trying to shake off my demons enough to fake-it-till-I-could-make-it.
And, I’ve had countless times of helping people find the supplements they need on their own personal health journeys. I’ve taken so much training (seriously, do not EVER mock any minimum wage, retail position. EVER.) both from work and on my own time to earn supplements to try to help my own journey until someone, somewhere, can maybe/kinda/sorta figure out what the hell to do with my ailing carcass.
Honestly? I needed this. I needed OUT of the house. I needed my brain to be busy and I needed the esteem boost that a team and gainful employment could provide.
So, here I am…back at writing and will continue to outline my journey through the cool things I learn about how I can employ my certification as a Chartered Herbalist with the good, the bad, and the downright “Did you seriously just tell me Google told you to ______ for your health?”
23 people read my very first blog post.
Over seven years, Lupus Interrupted has been my method of transparency of describing to someone, somewhere, that they sure as shit are not alone.
Millions of you.
Keep your arms and legs inside the blog post at all times.
You are also the reason I write, because you so very much matter. <3