For someone with a exceedingly ridiculous level of anxiety…the kind that you just *know* in your head is completely whack-a-doodle…
The attempt to even consider such a request has my stomach in knots and my wigged-out factors at DEFCON 2.
Making me do something in a social context is really hit-or-miss. I’m lucky I even go out of the house at all.
While gentle encouragement is always appreciated (who knows…maybe it really will be the next time you ask!!)…anything remotely “set in stone” makes me nauseous.
For example, how does one simply choose “a blog”? How do you randomly pick one of hundreds of thousands?!?
Sound easy? Sound silly? Sound totally whack-a-doodle?!?!?
That is me. Or, more importantly, that is “Me.” I’ve never really figured out the “why” of it, but I’ve certainly made heroic attempts to defy it.
I like structure, routine and the black/white of “rules.” My rules, of course…it’s my life. And, well…the laws’n’stuff. I’m not planning on making the evening news. *shifty eyes*
My husband and I attended a Cottage and Backyard Show this past weekend.
It’s like…it’s like anxiety on steroids. So many people…people wanting to thrust pamphlets at you…imploring you to sign up for the chance to win a floating dock!!!
But I go, because I attempt to defy it.
Then we get to the “Survival Steel”…very cool, very apropos to our camping/outdoor life.
THEN, we get to the “Do you want to try it?” part.
NO. I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. TRY. IT.
There are eleventy-billion people here, I’m over-processed AND…under a bajillion fluorescent lights.
I swear to gawd I could see noises.
Was it a good day?
Hell, it was a great day! Why?
1) I made it through the entire facility.
2) I made it through the entire facility AND didn’t have to high-tail it to a washroom for that “upset” that also generally accompanies my anxiety.
So, to get to a post where I read said post to mean, “If you do not do this, you will not be completing the blog post properly.” Then I have to choose a blog…then I have to step out into the light of the unknown (who, incidentally, is totally not my BFF)?!?!?
In my head, I totally got this.
In my physical body, well…it goes all asshat on me and I literally feel pressure throughout my head and chest.
I need a t-shirt.