When it just has to be said…

speech…or you’ll explode. Or, implode. Either way, it’s gettin’ messy.

{Alternate Title: Can you hear me now?…but I’d probably get sued or something…}

With my luck I’d even get the task of cleaning it up. (o.O)

 

Sometimes you do things spontaneously.

Sometimes you do things with a calculated logic whose meaning would otherwise be lost in normalcy…

…unless it was said.

Many know that my husband and I have been struggling with the circumstances surrounding the mo-fo surgery snafu that left him with double vision…with a wee little image-turn (of 15 degrees in one eye) for good measure.

He has faxed hither and thither…he has written hither and thither…he has even had a consult with a lawyer. He chose to write directly to the “new & improved” surgeon’s office directly (yesterday)…and was offered an appointment today, due to a cancellation. (Mother Nature is being an ass-hat and served us well o’er 10 cms of snow…many people didn’t want to take the chance to drive)

Upon our discussion of his exemplary “service” by said new surgeon (who has indicated his situation as being a priority)…I did what anyone with an addiction to social media would do…I posted a status on Facebook.

I, after reading his own status of said same, immediately looked at him and said, “The reason I post the same thing is so that people inside my own circle of friends can see it, too, and be all support-y and stuff.”

But…that’s not what needed to be said. Sometimes, it just builds up and spills over in the form of ocular fluid rolling ever so gently down your cheek (and by “rolling ever so gently,” I really mean fucks up your remaining make-up while you use your hoodie sleeve to stop the overflow running out of your nose) and you’ve no choice but to concede to the inevitable release that is afforded by the simple utterance of its significance.

I turned back to him and said:

“I post stuff like this so that people know everything you go through, too, so that they’ll be there for you when I can’t be here any more.”

And then it was said.

10 responses to “When it just has to be said…

  1. Wow. Im glad he found some good news out of it. Bit scary reading your blog and reality sometimes hits. Much hugs to you and your family, and good health to you both.

    • ‘Tis a bit scary, indeed, I can just imagine…reading it from the “outside in”. Alas, it’s not all purple painted ponies pooping butterflies jacked up on SugarSmacks, right? It’s all about balance.

      It’s all about “real.” xoxo

  2. And you sure have the tears rolling for me today! “Reality sometimes hits.” Oh how true that is. That sudden moment of realization and the rush of emotions when you know what needs to be said but…can you say it? Dare you utter the words?
    I have never met or spoken to your husband but through you I have come to know him as a truly wonderful man. Sláinte agus saol fada agaibh, strength, joy and comfort too. To both of you. With it I also send hope that this will lead to real work being done that will bring him what he needs.

    • I feel your tears on the wind, my friend…please know that I will always be here as a small piece of the foundation upon which you tread. Strength in numbers, birds of a feather… 😉 Your poise is admirable and your words lighten my heart. Thank you ~~hugs~~

  3. And that is when I held you and let the tears flow down your cheeks. I wiped away a tear or two and just held you. That’s what gets me through the days, holding you, loving you and being there for you when you need to just cry. Making it a safe environment for you to shed the tears that need to be shed and being strong for you.

  4. Hugs to both you and Shane. None of us ever know how long we have but many of us don’t even give it a thought. Thank you for sharing that moment…

    • My thought has always been, “Watch…a meteor will fall on my house, instead.” 😉 Alas, reality dictates a certain level of pre-thought to issues that not always make us comfortable. This, however, is on my mind a little too oft….your support has been unwavering, dear lady…thank you xoxo

  5. I am so happy that when it had to be said you found the courage, I am just sorry that you are in a world where it had to be said. I am so happy that you were held and could cry and let it out.
    Thank you for sharing that.
    Thank you Shane for taking care of “our” girl. And then I must add, thank you for sharing her with us.
    Would that mine could have been as strong as you Shane, well… bygones, good on you man, good on you.
    Jules

    • *tissue alert*, woman!!! I was holding it together JUST fine until your words ebbed their way around my heartstrings xoxo THIS, dear friend…is “community”…and I’m so glad you’re one at the helm on this short-bus through Crazy Town <3

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